| | I'm giving serious consideration to putting a major halt to my internet interactions. I've been feeling frustrated, depressed, whigged out, and overwhelmed for the past two days. This isn't a new feeling. It's been happening more and more and it's mostly brought on by situations that have happened to me on the internet. Just to give you a brief glimpse into what has caused these frustrations, these are the few things that have happened in the past few months.
- An e-mail I posted to a writer's e-mail list is being copied and shared on e-mail lists and newsgroups and message boards all over the net and I can do nothing to stop this because the person doing this doesn't live in the United States.
- I was kicked off an e-mail list for daring to say that I feel everyone is an artist. But wait, it doesn't stop there. The list's owner has informants who follow my blog and keep her abreast of my activities and leave foul comments for me anonymously.
- I discovered that conversations I had via an e-mail list over 10 years ago were made into an article, published in a print magazine and archived on the internet. I am also the subject of several letters to the editor as a result of this article. I can't do anything about it because I'm not protected by copyright. My e-mails can be shared for the sake of news, comment, or critic.
- My website, Found Art, was hacked every week in December. It was brought up, by the loving kindness of a wonderful friend who rebuilt it almost from scratch. He put in a lot of effort and time for which he was only paid my gratitude. (He wouldn't take money from me.) He put in every protection he could think of for my site. He has since lost his internet access and today I find out that some hacker found a back door and put an IRC bot/eggdrop (Do you even know what this is? I don't!) on my site. My web host happened to catch it; by the sounds it is something very serious. They want me to fix the flaw in the site's coding so that such attacks can't happen again. I have no clue and do not have the money to pay for a programmer.
With all of this happening at once, I'm feeling very vunerable and I'm also seeing that too much of my life revolves around the internet. Instead of sitting here nights posting messages that could come back to haunt me years from now, I could be outside enjoying the breeze or attending a MeetUp or reading one of the many books I have stacked next to my bed.
I can't cut off all internet access because I receive and send my work via e-mail.
I can't NOT journal on the computer. It doesn't work for me to write everything long-hand. My hand can't keep up with my brain. So I think I will keep my blog on LiveJournal, but close my Xanga blog. LiveJournal allows me to make posts that are only viewed by friends rather than anyone who happens to stop by. I will miss keeping up with the friendships I have made here on Xanga. If any of you decide to get a LiveJournal account, look up AshleyShea. Leave a comment and I will add you as a friend.
E-mail lists...sigh...I'm on too many. I can't keep up with them. I have made some wonderful connections and found awesome resources through e-mail lists. I will keep the ones I manage and protect both myself and my members through membership by approval and only active members allowed. I'll also stay on a couple of local announcement lists I'm on to stay connected to events I could attend. But I'll unsub from the rest.
I don't know what I'm going to do about my website. I'm waiting to hear from my web host to see if they have any suggestions for keeping the site safe. I'll back it up tonight while I know it is ok. If it should be taken down by another attack I will keep the files and bring it back up some time in the future when I can afford to pay for a programmer.
I have too many e-mail addresses. I'm going to drop all but my gmail account, my work address, and one address I have to keep up because of my ISP. I can stay connected with friends via these accounts.
While I know I need to get a thicker skin where internet interactions are concerned, I also know that I spend too many hours in the day here. I need a life outside of the internet. My life on the internet should be secondary so that what would normally be minor irritations will be so. |
| | Posted 3/31/2005 12:39 AM - 30 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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